Imana, ata gukekeranya, ni yo yashinze ingo. Bisigurakw’ari yo itegerezwa kutwigisha ingene ingo zubakwa no kutumenyesha ibituma zisambuka. Vy’ukuri, Imana yaraduhaye ibintu ngenderwako vyinshi mw’ijambo ryayo ivyerekeye ingo n’igikorwa c’umuntu wese mu kurwubaka. Igihe izi nyigisho za Bibiliya zikurikijwe, ingo zironka imigisha Imana yabateguriye kugenderamwo. Igihe bitubahirijwe, imitima irakomereka.
Igikorwa c’Umugabo n’Umugore mu rugo (The Role of Husband and Wife)
Imana yateguyek’urugo rw’abakristo rukurikiza urutonde runaka. Kukw’ari rwo rutuma urugo rubaho, ariko Satani akora ibishoboka vyose ngw’atobe urwo rutonde Imana yashizeho.
Ica mbere, Imana yategetsek’umugabo aba umutwe w’urugo. Ntibisigurak’umugabo ategerezwa kugendera umugore n’abana biwe ku gakanu. Imana yategetse abagabo gukunda abagre babo, kubarinda, kubatunga no kurongora urugo nk’umutwe. Imana yategetsekw’abagore baca bugufi musi y’uburongozi bw’abagabo babo. Iki canditswe kibivugako neza:
Bagore, mugamburukire abagabo banyu, nk’uko mugamburukira Umwami wacu. Kuk’umugabo ari we mutwe w’umugore wiwe, nk’uko Kristo na we ar’umutwe w’ishengero, akaba umukiza waryo, ari wo mubiri wiwe. Ariko nk’ukw’ishengero rigamburukira Kristo, abe arikw’abagore bagamburukira abagabo babo muri vyose (Efe. 5:22-24).
Umugabo si umutwe w’umugore wiwe mu mpwemu—Yesu ni we nyene ico kibanza. Yesu ni we mutwe w’ishengero mu mpwemu, kand’umugore akijijwe afise ikibanza kingana n’ic’umugabo wiwe asangwa bose bakijijwe. Mu rugo, hoho, umugabo akijijwe ni umutwe w’umugore n’abana biwe, kandi abo bategerezwa kwubaha urwo rutonde rw’Imana.
Umugore yo kwumvira umugabo wiwe gushika k’uruhe rwego? Ategerezwa kumwumvira muri vyose, nk’uko Paulo yabivuze. Ariko ntashobora kumwumvira igihe bituma arengakw’ijambo ry’Imana cank’igihe umugabo amusaba ibidakorwa. Kanatsinda nta mugabo akijijwe yotegeka umugore wiwe gukora ikizira cank’ibituma ahonyanga ijambo ry’Imana. Umugabo si umwami w’umugore wiwe—ico kibanza ni ca Yesu gusa. Igihe bisaba umugore guhitamwo uwo yubaha, ategerezwa guhitamwo Yesu.
Abagabo bategerezwa kumenya kw’Imana idategerezwa kwama “ku ruhande rw’abagabo.” Har’igihe Imana yabwiye Aburahamu gukora ico mukiwe Sara yamubwiye (raba Ita. 21:10-12). Ivyanditswe vyerekanako Abigayili yanse kwumvira igipfu c’umugabo wiwe Nabali bituma amukiza akaga (raba 1Sam. 25:2-38).
Ijambo ry’Imana ku Bagabo (God’s Word to Husbands)
Imana ibwira abagabo, iti:
Bagabo, mukunde abagore banyu nk’uko Kristo yakunze ishengero akaryigura….Nikw’abagabo na bo bakwiriye gukunda abagore babo nk’imibiri yabo bwite. Uwukunda umugore wiwe aba yikunda; kukw’ata muntu yigeze kwanka umubiri wiwe, arikw’arawugaburira, akawubungabunga, nk’uko Kristo na we agirira ishengero : kuko tur’ingingo z’umubiri wiwe….ariko namwe nyene, umuntu wese akunde umugore wiwe nk’uko yikunda; umugore na we ni yubahe umugabo wiwe (Efe. 5:25, 28-30, 33).
Abagabo bategetswe gukunda abagore babo nk’uko Kristo yakunze ishengero. Ico gikorwa si gito! Umugore wese yogamburukira umugabo wiwe igihe amukunze nk’uko Kristo yakunze ishengero—we yatanze ubugingo bwiwe kubw’urukundo. Nk’uko Kristo akunda umubiri wiwe, ishengero, nikw’abagabo bategerezwa gukunda abagore babo kukw’ar’”umubiri umwe” (Efe. 5:31). Igihe umugabo akijijwe akunze umugore wiwe nk’ukw’ategerezwa, azomugaburira, azomubungabunga, azomuha icubahiro, azomukomeza, kand’azokwama amufitiye akanya. Igihe ananiwe gushitsa ayo mabanga yiwe, umugabo ashobora kwizibirira inyishu y’amasengesho yiwe:
Namwe bagabo n’uko, mubane n’abagore banyu nk’abazi ibibereye, kukw’ari nk’imbombovu zidahwanije namwe inkomezi, kandi mubahe icubahiro, kuko nabo ar’abaragwana namwe ubuntu bw’ubugingo, kugirang’ugusenga kwanyu ntikugire ikigutesha (1 Pet. 3:7, dushimikiye ku nsobanuro).
Nta rugo rwigera rubura intambara cank’ukudatahurana. Biciye mu kwitanga no gukomeza icamwa ca mpwemu, abagore n’abagabo barashobora kubana mu mwumvikano no kubona imigisha idasanzwe ihabwa urugo rwabatswe rukristo. N’aho haza ibibazo umuntu adashobora kwirinda, umuntu wese mu rugo ategerezwa kwihatira gushikira urugero rwa Kristo mu gukura kwiwe.
Ushaka kumenya cane ku bagore n’abagabo, raba Ita. 2:15-25; Imig. 19:13; 21:9, 19; 27:15-16; 31:10-31; 1Kor. 11:3; 13:1-8; Kol. 3:18-19; 1Tim. 3:4-5; Tit. 2:3-5; 1Pet. 3:1-7.
Amabanga y’Abubatse (Sex in Marriage)
Imana ni yo yashizeho ibitsina, kandi yabishiriyeho kuzanira umunezera abubakanye no kurondoka. Bibiliya, yerekanakw’abemerewe kurangura amabanga y’abubatse ar’umugore n’umugabo bamaze kugirwa umwe n’amasezerano yo kwabirana.
Guhuza ibitsina kw’abatubakanye vyitwa kurenga ibigo cank’ubusambanyi. Intumwa Paulo yerekanyekw’abagira kimwe mur’ivyo nta bwami bw’Imana bazobona (raba 1 Kor. 6:9-11). N’ah’umukristo ashobora kugeragezwa ngw’arenge ibigo cank’asambane, aramutse abikoze umutima wiwe umucira urubanza ukamutuma yihana.
Kandi Paulo yerekanye igikorwa c’umugabo n’ic’umugore mur’iyo mibano yabo:
Ariko kubwo kwirinfa gushakana, umugabo wese agire uwiwe mugore, n’umugore agire uwiwe mugabo. Umugabo ah’umugore wiwe ivy’akwiye, kand’umugore na we abigenze artyo ku mugabo wiwe. Kuk’umugore ataganza umubiri wiwe, arik’uganzwa n’umugabo; kand’umugabo na we ntaganza umubiri wiwe, arik’uganzwa n’umugore. Ntimukimane, shiti kumbure musezeranye igihe, kugira ngo mubone uburyo bwo gusenga, kandi mwongere mubane, Satani ntabageragereshe kutirinda kwanyu (1 Kor. 7:2-5).
Iyi mirongo yerekana neza k’uguhuza ibitsina atar’”ingero” y’umugabo cank’umugore nah’umwe wese ata bubasha afise ku mubiri wiwe ubwiwe.
Ikirengeye vyose, guhuza ibitsina n’ingabire yatanzwe n’Imana kandi ntiyatanzwe ngw’ikore ibihumanya cank’ibitera soni. Paulo yahanuye abakristo bubatse kugira imigenderanire mwiza mu guhuza ibitsina. Kandi rero, iyi mpanuro dusubira kuyisanga mu gitabo c’imigani:
Isoko yawe igire umugisha, kand’unezerererwe umugore wo mu buto bwawe. Nk’impongokazi y’urukundo n’ingeregere y’igikundiro amabere yiwe akubumbe ibihe vyose; kandi wame uhimbarwa n’urukundo rwiwe (Imig. 5:18-19).
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Kukw’abakristo bubakanye bategerezwa kunezerererwa imigenderanire yabo mpuzabitsina, umugabo n’umugore abagore n’abagabo bategerezwa gutahura yuko har’itandukaniro rinini hagati ya kamere zabo zompi. Dusanga, kamere k’umugabo gakunda guhuza ibitsina, ariko kamere k’umugore mu guhuza ibitsina gafatira ku bigumbagumba cank’ukwiyumvamwo. Ugushaka guhuza ibitsina kw’umugabo kuva kuvy’abonesha amaso yiwe (raba Mat. 5:28), arik’ugushaka kw’umugora kuva ku migenderanire mwiza afatiniye n’umugabo ( raba 1Kor. 7:1). Abagabo bifuza guhuza ibitsina n’abagore bashimisha amaso yabo; abagore na bo bifuza guhuza ibitsina n’abagabo bafise ingeso zitandukanye zihuye n’ic’imitima yabo yifuza. Ni co gituma abagore b’ubwenge bitaho kwama bashimisha amaso y’abagabo babo. N’abagabo b’ubwenge bitaho kwereka abagore babo urukundo mu kubagumbira no gukora ibishimisha imitima yabo mu gishingo co kwiyumvirakw’abagore babo bafise igishika co “kubasimbirako” igihe cose bababonye.
Icifuzo c’umugabo co kurangura amabanga y’abubatse congerekana uk’umubiri wiwe urushirizaho kugubwa neza, arik’ic’umugore congerekana canke kikagabanuka ukw’agiye mu mihango. Abagabo barashobora guhazwa mu kanya gato igihe barangura amabanga y’abubatse; arik’abagore bafata umwanya munini. Kandi nah’umubire w’umugabo udakenera imyiteguro myinshi imbere yo kurangura amabanga y’abubatse , umubiri w’umugore wowo ufata n’imiburiburi igice c’isaha c’imyiteguro. Rero abagabo b’ubwenge bazi gutegura abagore babo mu kubasomagura no kubakorako ku bihimba bituma bifuza kurangura amabanga y’abubatse. Umugabo atazi ah’ivyo bihimba biri, abaze umugore wiwe. Vyongeye, umugabo ategerezwa kumenyako n’ah’ashobora kubumbwa n’incuro imwe gusa mu kurangura amabanga y’abubatse, umugore wiwe abumbwa na nyinshi. Umugabo ategerezwa kugira ukw’ashoboye ngw’ashimishe umugore wiwe.
Ni nkenerwa cane kw’abakristo bubakanye bavugana ata buryarya cank’ubwoba kandi bakigishanya ingene ibitsina vyabo bitandukanye. Uko bashishikara kuvugana, amezi n’imyaka vyitera, ni ko bubura no kugendera mu migenderanire n’imigisha mishasha.
Abana b’Urugo rw’Abakristo (Children of a Christian Family)
Abana bategerezwa kwigishwa kwubaha no guca bugufi imbere y’abavyeyi babo. Kandi bavyemeye, bahabwa kubaho imisi imyaka myinshi n’iyindi migisha basezeranywe:
Bana, mwumvire abavyeyi banyu mu Mwami wacu: kukw’ivyo ari vyo bigororotse. “Wubahe so na nyoko” ico ni co cagezwe ca mbere kirimwo isezerano, “kugira ng’uronke amahoro, urambire kw’isi” (Efe. 6:1-3).
Ba se rugo bakijijwe, nk’imitwi y’ingo zabo, bahawe igikorwa co kwigisha abana babo:
Namwe ba se, ntimukaratse abana banyu, ariko mubarere, mubahana mubahanura, uk’Umwami wacu agomba (Efe. 6:4).
Menyakw’igikorwa ca se rugo kirimwo bibiri: kwigisha no kurera abana nk’uk’Umwami agomba. Reka turabe akamaro ko guhana abana.
Guhana Umwana (Child Discipline)
Umwana yakuze adahanwa arangwa no kwikunda no kugarariza. Abana bategerezwa guhanwa igihe cose banse kwumvira amategeko abatoza indero nziza nk’uko bayahawe n’abavyeyi babo. Abana ntibakwiye guhanwa igihe bakoze ibihwanye n’imyaka bafise. Ariko bategerezwa kumenya ingaruka mbi y’amakosha yabo igihe banse guhindura, ni ko kubategura mu buzima bwa kazoza.
Abana bisununuye bashobora guhanishwa inkoni nk’ukw’ijambo ry’Imana ribivuga. Inzoya zozo ntizishibora guhanwa. Arikw’igihe ziriko zirisununura zitegerezwa kumenyeshwakw’abavyeyi ari bo bahawe igikorwa co kubarera. Bashobora kwigishwa ijambo “oya” mu kubabuza gukora ivyo bariko barakora canke ivyo bashaka gukora. Igihe batanguye gutahuta ic’ijambo “oya” risigura, n’aho bashobora gukubitwa buhorobuhoro ku maguru kugira barushirize gutahura cane ikibi co kutumvira. Igihe ibi bikozwe neza, abana bakura bazi kwumvira no kwubaha.
Abavyeyi barashobora kumenyereza abana kugira ingeso nziza, kubankira ikintu kanaka igihe bagisavye biriza. Kuk’ubahaye igihe biriza bamenyako bategerezwa kwiriza kugira ngo bahabwe ico bifuza.To do so is to teach children to cry in order to gain their desires. Cank’igihe abavyeyi babaha ico bifuza igihe cose bishavuje canke bidodomba, bituma abana bakurana izo ngese mbi. Abavyeyi b’ubwenge bashigikira ingeso nziza gusa.
Inkoni ntigakoreshwe mu kumugaza umwana arikw’ikoreshwe kugira ng’umwana atumvira ashike aho arira. Ni h’umwana azomenyako kutumvira kwiwe gutuma arira. Bibiliya irabishigikira:
Uwurinda umwana inkoni aba amwanse, arik’uwumukunda amuhana hakiri kare….Ubupfu bubabuhambiriwe ku mutima w’umwana, arikw’inkoni y’uguhana izobwirukana kure yiwe….Ntureke guhana umwana, kukw’atokwicwa n’uk’umukubise inkoni. Uz’umukubite inkoni, ni ho uzokiza ubugingo bwiwe ngo ntibuje i Kuzimu….Inkoni n’indero nziza bicisha ubwenge, arik’umwana bapfa kurekera aho atetereza nyina (Imig. 13:24; 22:15; 23:13-14; 29:15).
Igihe abavyeyi bubahiriza amategeko yabo, ntibakwiye guhindisha abana agashitsi bibazakw’arihw’abana baca bumvira. Igihe umwana atumviye, n’akubitwe. Igihe umuvyeyi atinyisha umwana mu kumukubita, aba arikw’atsimbataza ubugarariji bw’uyo mwana. Ico gihe umwana ntaba acitaho kwumvira kiretse igihe arengewe n’ibitutsi.
Umwana amaze guhanwa, umuvyeyi ategerezwa kumwereka urukundo amufitiye.
Gutoza Umwana Indero (Train Up a Child)
Abavyeyi bakijijwe bategerezwa kwitaho indero y’abana babo, nk’uko tubisoma mu migani 22:6: “Toza Umwana Indero akwiye kwamana, azorinda asaza atarayivamwo” (dushimikiye ku nsobanuro).
Gutoza umwana indero ntibigizwe no kumuhana gusa ariko no kumushimira igihe akoze iciza. Abana bakwiye kwama bashimirwa igihe bakoze neza kuko bituma bashishikara gukora no kwigenza neza. Abana bakwiye kwama babwirwako babakunda, ko banezereza abavyeyi babo. Abavyeyi bashobora kwerekana urwo rukundo mu kubasomba, kubagumbira, no kubaha akanya ko kuyaga.
“Gutoza indero” bisigura “gutuma umuntu yumvira.”Abavyeyi bakijijwe, ntibashobora guhitishamw’abana bababaza ko bifuza kuja mu rusengero canke mu masengesho canke gusenga buri musi. Abana ntibarashika aho bahitamwo neza ibikiza ubugingo bwabo—ni co gituma Imana ibaha abavyeyi. Abavyeyi bitaho gukurikirana indero y’abana babo, Imana yarabasezeranyekw’abana bazokwamana iyo ndero no mu busaza Imigani 22:6.
Abana bategerezwa guhabwa ibikorwa barangura uko bagenda bakura. Igikorwa c’umuvyeyi ni gutegura umwana ngw’agire umutima wo kwitwararika ibikorwa ukw’agenda akura. Uk’umwana akura, ni kw’agenda ahabwa umwidegemvyo wo guhitamwo ubwiwe. Vyongeye, umuyabaga ategerezwa kumenya kwemanga inkurikizi mbi zizanwa n’ingingo mbi afata kand’akamenyakw’abavyeyi batazokwama bari ngaho ngo “babubakire ivyo basambuye.”
Abavyeyi Bategekwa Kwigisha Abana (Parents’ Responsibility to Instruct)
Dusomye mu Banyefeso 6:4, abavyeyi ntibatoza indero gusa ariko bategerezwa kwigisha abana babo mu Mwami. Si igikorwa c’ishengero kwigisha abana inyigisho za Bibiliya, indero rukristo—ni igikorwa ca se rugo. Abavyeyi bahebeye ico gikorwa inyigisho zo ku wa mungu bari mu bujuju budasanzwe. Imana yategetse Abisirayeli icishirije muri Mose iti:
Ayo mabwirizwa mbageze uyu musi, az’ahore ku mitima yanyu: muze mugire umwete wo kuyigisha abana banyu; muze muyahoze mu kanw iyo mwicaye mu nzu, n’iyo muriko muragenda mu nzira, n’iyo muryamye, n’iyo muvyutse (Gus. 6:6-7, dushimikiye ku nsobanuro).
Abavyeyi bakijijwe bategerezwa kwigisha abana babo, bakiri bato, ivy’Imana, bababwira ingene ibakunda. Abana bato bategerezwa kwigishwa inkuru y’ivuka rya Yesu, ubuziman bwiwe, urupfu rwiwe, n’izuka ryiwe. Abana bafise imyaka itanu cank’itandatu barashobora gutahura ubutumwa buri mw’injili kandi bagafata ingingo ya gukorera Umwami. Inyuma y’aho gatoya (ku myaka itandatu cank’indwi, cank’imbere y’aho), barashobora kubatizwa muri Mpwemu Yera bakavuga no mu zindi ndimi. Kanatsinda, nta woshiraho icagezwe ngaho kuk’umwana wese atandukanye n’uwundi. Ikivugwa ngaha n’ukw’abavyeyi bokwitwararika cane ubuzima bw’abana babo muri mpwemu.
Ingingo Cumi zo Gukunda Abana Bawe (Ten Rules for Loving Your Children)
1). Ntukaratse abana bawe (raba Efe. 6:4). Abana ntibashobora gukora nk’abakuze. Igihe ubategeka gukora ibibarengeye, nta na kimwe bazokora, kuko baziko bidashoboka.
2). Ntugereranye abana bawe n’abandi bana. Bamenyeshe ingene ubakunda nk’ukw’Imana yabaguhaye nk’ingabire rudende.
3). Bahe ivyo bakora mu nzu ni ho bazomenyako bafise ikibanza kidasanzwe mur’urwo rugo. Ivyo bizotuma bakura bazi ko har’ico bashoboye gukora.
4). Fata akanya ko kubana n’abana bawe. Bituma bemenyako bafise agaciro kuri wewe. Kubaha ivy’ubaha ntibingana no kubaha akanya. Vyongeye, abana bigirira ku muntu bamarana umwanya cane.
5). Ugomba kuvuga ikintu kibi, cishiriza mu mvugo nziza. Sinigeze mbira abana banje kw’ari “babi” igihe bangararije. Ahubwo nabwira umuhungu wanje, nti “ur’umwana mwiza cane, kand’abana beza nka we ntibakora ivy’uhejeje gukora!” (Nkaca ndamukubita)
6). Menyakw’ijambo “oya” risigurako “Ndakwitwararika.” Igihe abana bakora ivyo bishakiye, bamenyak’utabitaho ng’ushobore kubabuza kubikora.
7). Abana bawe bigire kuri wewe. Kenshi abana kwigira ku bavyeyi. Umuvyeyi w’ ubwenge ntashobora kubwira umwana wiwe, ngo “kora ivyo mvuga, ntukore ivyo nkora.”
8). Nti wame uhishira umwana wawe. Mukize ivyo mwica; arikw’ingorane zitamwica umureke azicemwo.
9). Korera Imana n’umutima wawe wose. Nasanze abana bavyawe n’abavyeyi b’akazuyaze mu mpwemu babandanya mu mpwemu gake cane. Abana bakijijwe n’aho bavuka ku bavyeyi badakijijwe hamwe n’abana bavuka ku bavyeyi bakijijwe neza bashishikara gukorera Imana igihe “batanguye kwitunga ubwabo.”
10). Igisha abana bawe ijambo ry’Imana. Kenshi usanga abavyeyi bitwararika amashule y’abana bakibagira kubaha inyigisho za Bibiliya.
Ikibanza c’Igikorwa cose, Urugo n’Igikorwa c’Imana
(The Priorities of Ministry, Marriage and Family)
Ikosha abakristo benshi bakora ni ukwitwararika cane igikorwa c’Imana bakibagira ingo zabo. Bitwaza “igikorwa c’Umwami.”
Iki kibazo gitorerwa umuti igihe umukozi amenyek’ ukwumvira kwiwe no kwihebera Imana nyakuri birangwa n’imigenderanire afitaniye n’umugore n’abana biwe. Nta mukozi yovugako yihebeye Imana kand’ananiwe gukunda umugore wiwe nk’uko Kristo yakunze ishengero, cank’igihe ata n’akanya gato afise ko kwigisha no guhanura abana biwe mu Mwami.
Ikirengeye vyose, kwirengagiza umugore n’abana kubera “igikorwa c’Imana” ni ikimenyetso cerekana k’ukorera mu mubiri kand’ukoresha ubushobozi zawe gusa. Abungere b’amashengero bavugako bafise igikorwa gikomeye cane ni bo karorero k’ivyo duhejeje kuvuga, usanga biyica ubwabo kugira ngw’integuro z’ishengero zikorwe.
Yesu yavuzekw’umutwaro wiwe uhwahutse n’ingata yiwe itababaza (raba Mat. 11:30). Nta mukozi n’umwe ategeka kwihebera igikorwa c’Imana gushik’ah’atagishobora kwitwararika urugo rwiwe. Kanatsinda, kimwe mu vyo umukuru w’ishengero asabwa ni “kuba ashobora kuganza neza abo mu rugo rwiwe” (1 Tim. 3:4). Imigenderanire afitaniye n’umuryango wiwe niyo yerekana kw’akwiriye guhabwa igikorwa cank’oya.
Abirigwa mu ngendo zo gukorera Imana bategerezwa gufata akanya gahagije ko kubana n’umiryango yabo igihe bagarutse. Bene Data bagize umubiri wa Kristo bategerezwa kugira uko bashobora kwose kugira ngw’ivyo bishoboke. Umukozi agira abigishwa azi nezakw’abana biwe ari bo bigishwa biwe ba mbere. Ananiwe n’abo, nta ruhusha afise rwo kugira abigishwa hanze y’inzu yiwe.
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Ushaka kumenya kw’Imana ititoraguza, raba Indirimbo ya Salomo 7:1-9 n’Abalewi 18:1-23.